[ Une ronde qui vous veut du bien ]

Coucou les filles, aujourd’hui je me dévoile (non non pas de photos de moi nue à suivre, vous risqueriez le mini vomi J ). Je vous raconte comment j’ai pris 40 kilos en quelques années, et mon ressenti face à cette prise de poids.




Lorsque j’étais jeune j’étais très, mais alors très sportive. Je faisais jusqu’à huit heures de sport par semaine (rien que d’y penser aujourd’hui je suis essoufflée ;-)). J’étais une fana de sport, surtout volley et handball. Comme je suis très grande et toujours plus grande que mes adversaires, c’était cool de se sentir « supérieure » et de passer au-dessus de tout le monde pour marquer des points.

Ma mère a toujours été plus ou moins grossophobe (je reviendrai là-dessus), du coup elle nous nourrissait à base de soupes principalement, légumes et fruits. Il n’y avait jamais de gâteaux ou bonbons chez nous, et même les boissons gazeuses étaient proscrites (et les Thénardiers n’étaient pas sympas non plus ;-)) . A 18 ans, j’ai pas quitté ma Provence, mais je pesais 70 kilos pour mon mètre quatre vingt, et j’avais une silhouette sportive de rêve J

Enfin quand je vous dis « silhouette de rêve », cela ne m’empêchait pas d’avoir des complexes, hanches trop larges, pas assez de seins, fesses pas assez rebondies…

Puis j’ai commencé à tomber malade.

Des fortes douleurs au ventre dès que je me nourrissais, puis des douleurs constantes qui m’ont fait vivre une bonne partie de ma vie en ermite. J’avais de gros problèmes intestinaux et je n’osais plus sortir par peur d’être malade. D’ailleurs, je ne mangeais presque plus, par peur d’avoir plus de douleurs. Je me suis retrouvée à peser 60 kilos. Beaucoup trop peu aux yeux de mon entourage, qui me voyait mal et la peau sur les os. Autant vous dire qu’à ce moment là je ne me posais plus de questions sur ma silhouette, car j’avais d’autre soucis. Mais aujourd’hui, lorsque je vois des photos de cette période de ma vie, je me fais peur moi-même. J’étais tellement maigre qu’on aurait pu me faxer !

De plus, dès que j’allais voir ma gastro-entérologue, elle me disait : « c’est le stresse, c’est de la colopathie, ça va passer ». Mais ça ne passait pas. Un jour j’ai été pratiquement 50 fois aux toilettes. C’était trop, j’ai décidé de consulter un autre gastro-entérologue. Et lui, m’a enfin prise au sérieux. Il m’a fait faire de suite une coloscopie. Celle-ci a révélé que j’avais le bas du colon infecté et donc la maladie de Crohn (j’ai écrit un article sur la maladie que je publierai plus tard).

Du coup, on a essayé plusieurs traitements avec mon médecin et je me sentais de mieux en mieux. Et là c’est le drame ! J’ai recommencé a manger normalement, voir un peu trop et au fil des années j’ai pris énormément de poids. Mon corps ayant été en carence pendant ces années de jeûne à ne manger que très peu, et bien dès que j’ai remangé normalement, mon corps a stocké, stocké, stocké… Bon j’avoue aussi que je me suis régalée de Burger, glaces et food porn en tout genre. Rajoutez à cela l’arrêt de la cigarette, et bien le compte est bon !

Et aujourd’hui j’ai presque 40 kilos de plus sur la balance.

Mais ça va, je le vis bien, car c’est avec 15 ans de plus et quarante kilos supplémentaires, que j’ai pu réaliser un de mes rêves, devenir mannequin et blogueuse !

Le seul problème avec ce poids pris, c’est que ma mère a du mal à l’accepter aussi bien que moi. Elle qui mange un bol de soupe, le soir qu’il pleuve, vente, neige ou qu’il fasse 40 degrés, et qui est toute menue. Du coup elle me fait souvent des réflexions à ce sujet qui parfois me peinent… Mais bon, j’essaie de me dire que ce n’est pas contre moi, mais plus pour mon bien qu’elle me dit cela.

Voilà les filles, peut être que certaines d’entres vous se retrouveront dans ce récit. En tout cas soyez fières de vous, vous êtes superbes telles que vous êtes.

Je vous embrasse fort  ^_^

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